I Don’t Want to Read Another AI-Generated Resume Ever Again

I Don’t Want to Read Another AI-Generated Resume Ever Again

The Daily Flood

I opened 118 resumes today.

You know how many of them didn’t sound like they were written by a polite LinkedIn intern with no soul?

Maybe three. Three resumes that felt like they came from people who actually lived the stuff they were describing.

The rest? All the same garbage:

  • “Motivated professional”
  • “Cross-functional collaboration”
  • “Leveraged innovative strategies to improve operational throughput”

Come on. You worked at a call center and hated it. Just say that. Tell me you handled 200 calls a day and stopped someone from crying because their discount code didn’t work. That’s the real stuff. That’s what I want to read.

Why AI-Resumes Are Everywhere (And Why I Get It)

Let’s be real: everyone’s using ChatGPT or Jasper or whatever other tool exists because:

  • They’re tired
  • They’re desperate
  • They’ve applied to 60 jobs and been ghosted 58 times
  • The other two told them they were “overqualified”

So they go to a bot and type, “Make my resume better.” And the bot says, “Sure, here’s a list of business words I scraped from LinkedIn posts.”

Boom. Done. Instant professional.

But also… soulless.

What Happens Next? This:

1. They Show Up to Interviews and Can’t Explain Their Own Resume

True story: guy comes in with a beautifully written line that said:

“Implemented agile strategies to streamline logistics workflows.”

Sounds impressive. I ask what it means. He stares for a second and goes:

“I just stacked boxes, mate.”

That’s not a red flag. That’s an AI flag. That line was written by a bot — and he didn’t even read it before submitting.

2. We All Waste Time

He wasted his time. I wasted mine. The bot didn’t even have the decency to feel bad about it.

What I (And Most Recruiters I Know) Actually Want to See

We don’t want perfection.

We want:

  • Typos
  • Messy formatting
  • Honest, human-sounding sentences
  • Something weird that stands out — something only a human would write

A few examples that would actually catch my attention:

  • “Resolved 14 customer complaints in one shift and didn’t cry in the bathroom. Progress.”
  • “Trained two new hires while my manager was off sick and the espresso machine exploded. Still showed up the next day.”

I’d interview that person in a heartbeat.

How to Fix This (If You’re a Job Seeker)

AI can help you, but it shouldn’t be you.

Here’s what to do:

  1. Let AI draft it. Fine. Use it like a rough template.
  2. Then tear it apart. Rewrite the intro in your voice.
  3. Add something weird, personal, or awkward. Something that only you would include.
  4. Read it out loud. If it sounds like a LinkedIn bot, fix it.
  5. Don’t over-edit. Real beats perfect. Always.

What Recruiters Should Start Doing Too

Because this isn’t just on candidates. We need to do better too.

Suggestions:

  • Ask weird questions. Not “Tell me about a time you showed leadership.” Try “Tell me about a day at work that made you want to quit.”
  • Ditch resume screening sometimes. Just message people. Ask about the work.
  • Celebrate imperfection. If the formatting is bad but the story’s good, follow up.

We have to stop punishing people for not sounding like robots — especially when everyone who does sound like a robot probably isn’t qualified anyway.

One Last Thought (Before I Delete Another AI Resume)

Use AI. Sure. I get it. But rewrite one sentence. Just one. Make it your own. Make it clumsy or weird or funny or honest.

You’d be amazed how fast it cuts through the noise.

And recruiters?

Stop chasing polish. Start reading between the lines. There’s still a human in there.

Probably.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

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